This Too Shall Pass

As the nurse held her up
To the big partition of glass
I could tell you right away
That baby girl had class

Her eyes were not wide open
So she could barely see
But I swear by all that's holy
She was smiling right at me

But, Mother she was with me
To pop my bubble, alas
"She wasn't smiling at you
She just had something to pass"

Losing It

I let the dog out every night
Before we hit the sack
He just goes out and does his thing
And then he comes right back

I let Jack out the other night
And waited by the door
He seemed to be taking longer
Then he ever had before

I started getting nervous
When he didn't come right back
I said to Pat sitting in the den
"I've gotta go look for Jack"

Pat looked at me in a funny way
And said, "are you OK?"
She pointed to the doggy bed
Whereupon Jack did lay

Do you suppose when he came back
I forgot I had let him in?
Could it be my short term memory
Is really wearing that thin?

At one time I was very sharp
But I can no longer boast
Of all the things I've lost in life
I'll miss my mind the most!

Spring Fever

I think I'm getting bored
No excitment around here
I'm going to the Legion
To get myself a beer

Oh, there's that pile of leaves
Sitting there on the ground
Keep walking toward the car
And do not look around

A hand waving in the window
She must have spotted me
I'll just keep on driving
Pretend I didn't see

Bartender got a message
Before I made it here
"Send him home right away
Don't serve him any beer"

I'll stop at Dunkin' Donuts
Get a coffee over ice
And, bring her home a Danish
She'll think I'm being nice

That stupid pile of leaves
Hasn't moved a bit
Before I jump into it
I think I'd better sit

There ain't a lot'a sense
In movin'em today
Tomorrow could be windy
And blow'em all away

This chaise is very comfortable
Under this Hemlock tree
I'll rest my eyes just a bit
And then the leaves I'll ... zzzz

The Shortcut

Gotta hurry home . . . daylight's goin'
Leaves are swirling . . . winds a blowin'

Halloween's come . . . nice time of the year
Got me a flashlight . . . nothing to fear

Take the shortcut? . . . sure, I dare
Through the stone markers . . . standing there

What's that rustling . . . by that grave?
Could be a squirrel . . . must be brave

Damn that bat . . . just missed my head
Can't light the path . . . battries dead

A great big crow . . . in that tree
Wonder what . . . he's screeching at me?

"Go away boy . . . why are you here?"
"I'll peck your eyes out . . . if you come near"

Turning around . . . and walking away
A big black cat . . . is in my way

"Go away boy . . . why are you here?"
"I'll scratch your eyes out . . . if you come near"

Should I run? . . . take a chance?
My legs won't move . . . I peed my pants

The Frog From The Bog

The neighborhood kids gathered down by the bog
Cause Billy Brown promised that he'd lick a frog
Admission would cost each one only a dime
Twenty cents to watch him more than one time

They looked for the biggest and slimiest one
Watching him do this would surely be fun
The special time came, Billy stood on a log
So they could all witness him licking the frog

He picked up the frog, all slimy and slick
One girl had to leave, said "I'm getting sick"
He held the old frog an inch over his face
Little Billy's performance now coming into place

Just about then, they heard someone scream
His mother had followed, or so it would seem
He dropped the old frog and started to run
Billy Brown's mother ruined everyone's fun

Billy headed home as fast as he could go
Then everyone decided there would be no show
For there they all were, down by the bog
With no volunteers for licking the frog

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